How Do You USE This Thing?

So admittedly…it’s been FOREVER since I’ve written something.

And I’ve wanted to – no really, I’ve wanted to write something…I just didn’t have the words. To be honest, I still don’t have the words. But I figured, even if I don’t have the best things or the “right” things to say, that in this space…saying something is better than saying nothing at all. Who knows, there may be a person or two out there who can identify with what I’m going through.

So what am I going through, exactly?

Well…in short…I’m comparing who I am to who I used to be. I used to be a solid 60lbs lighter. I used to be a person who ran at least 15 miles per week. I used to be someone who had a BOOKED running schedule. I used to be a regular(ish) blogger.

And I miss that person. No, if I’m going to be honest, I miss the way that person looked. I loved running, hell I STILL love running. I went for a run this morning and felt that familiar glow and sparkle…that feeling of peace and the satisfaction of completing a run. But my eating habits have changed along with a number of things…and yes I have gained that weight back, but with it I have gained a couple of other things.

…like muscle and strength

…like a love and appreciation for the power of the female body

…like the ability to see in myself, even my heavier self, an athlete

…like an appreciation for and a commitment to regular physical activity

…like the ability to cook real meals (versus those pre-packaged messes I used to eat)

It’s a journey they say – one filled with ups and downs. So this might be a down swing for me…and I’m trying my best to fight my way through it. Someone close to me told me to focus on appreciating me NOW and not looking back on the me THEN. And that’s been good to reflect upon. We never really stop and admire who we are – when I look back even to my smallest days I know this to be true. I remember being happy with my progress, and feeling great – but not really being full on satisfied. I still wanted and tried to push for more. Looking at those old pictures now though? Man…I was FINE! And I still am. *smile* but I want better. Not to chase an image, but to chase a feeling.

That feeling of looking in the mirror and seeing the person you believe yourself to be reflected back to you. I had that at one point. I am working on finding her again. And as I continue that search for her, I will try to share my story along the way. Inch by inch. Mile by mile.

Dusting Off the Keyboard

You know it’s been awhile when my browser history doesn’t even remember my web addy.

single tear for the forgotten blog

But I did that to myself…and to those of you who still read this – sorry y’all! To say that life has been crazy would not be an accurate enough statement…because in truth life has been LIFE. I’ve thought about writing, but then wondered what would I write about? If you follow me on Instagram I’m sure you’ve noticed a steady dwindling of fitness related posts and more of my personal self spilling over..and with it tons of selfies, lol.

My selfie game is strong.

Let us take a walk back in time, shall we? I’ve been in this very strange place over the past year or so since I’ve stopped running regularly. Change of jobs, refocus of career, but more importantly a change in my exercise and food routine. I still haven’t quite landed into a regular pattern since I’ve stopped running. CrossFit kinda came in and with it a new community and new “norms” and apparently a new interest in lifting heavy things. How running fit into that lifestyle was quite easy…it didn’t. *shrug* Part of me felt kinda weird writing for a blog entitled TheCurvyRoadRunner, when I technically don’t really run like that, nor do I consider myself a runner. The Curvy CrossFitter or The Overweight Oly Lifter don’t really work for me either, lmao…I’m none of those things. I’m all of those things. I’m just me. I like to run…and lift weights…and these days it seems I’m gaining a new love for yoga. I just like DOING THINGS. There’s a lot the human body can do if the human mind and spirit would only endeavor to try.

My weight has fluctuated, and I’m on the heavier side of the scale…but I’m stronger than I’ve been in awhile. And I’m challenging myself to do things that I never thought I would…like handstands. Something so simple, right? Yet…here I am at 270 lbs (yea I said it) doing handstands. Who said I couldn’t do that? Apparently I did. So I’m about changing that. I’m for challenging the notion that I can’t do ______. I can. Or at least I can try, right? And with trying…you get better.

handstanding in 4 inch heels? don’t mind if i do!

For awhile I’d considered changing the name of this blog. I know the name I want it to be…Find Your FIt….because I think that’s what this journey has really been about for me. Figuring out what I want to do, how I want to do it, and what being fit looks and feels like to me. So I suppose you can say I’m “back” though I won’t be posting daily. For my own sake and sanity, I’ll at least try to use this space to share my own thoughts and experiences as I go about finding my own fit.

So…I Broke the Scale

Lol, well not really. More like, my scale went wonky and decided it wanted to end our almost 3 year relationship. It was a sad affair really. I should have known something was amiss when, at my last weigh in, it said I’d lost a whopping 10 lbs that week. On chipotle and starbucks? Nah bruh, I don’t think so.

10 points if you can name this movie.

So yea, I had to get a new scale. It arrived yesterday. And IT was hellbent on telling me the truth. All 275lbs of it. WAAAAAHHHH. Yea, I gained some weight back. My life, the roller coaster. It was bound to happen though. I’ve been having WAY too much fun indulging my inner foodie and scotch lover. Not to mention I’ve grown allergic to cardio since starting crossfit and then switching over to mostly olympic lifting. The motivation to get out bed in the wee hours of the morning to run just…meh. My bad tho. Clearly I know better, but like most of us, sometimes you fall backwards and need to reassert why you do what you do in the first place.

New scale. Renewed focus. And the foodie card can only come out for truly extraordinary purposes. Like my birthday…which is less than a month away (Nov. 20th).

Yup. The entire month of November is my birthday.

In other news, life is good. Settling into the new gig, can’t believe 4 months has passed so quickly, but indeed it has. There was this huge project I’d been working towards since day 1, and with that out of the way, I’m hoping to get into my own lovely groove. I’ve not yet put my trainer talents to work, mostly because my schedule has been all over the place, but we are hoping for (and claiming) a stable schedule beginning now!

Till next time!

Life is a Big Sea of Change

…these days I’m just trying to go with the flow. Between becoming a certified personal trainer (sqeeeee!!!! ), getting a new job (I start Monday), and moving (I’ll be in a new spot by next weekend…I hope!), life has just been tossing me around a bit – but in a good way.

If nothing else, for the better part of the first half of this year, I’ve unknowingly been on an adventure. One of self discovery and reaffirmation, tears, laughter, frustration, and enlightenment. Life is funny that way I suppose. But what the past couple of months have shown me is that the way to finding your happiness and carving your own path is one that is not meant to be easy. I’ve been spending a lot of time over the past year or so thinking about my next steps. And surprisingly, these next steps literally mean I’m moving. Shifting homes, shifting jobs, shifting my mindset. It’s a good feeling.

If all goes well, you’ll see some things shifting here as well. CRR has been around for a lil over 3.5 years now, and I think it’s time to take the training wheels off and see what she can do. I’m hoping you’ll stick around for the ride, as I’m hoping to make it an amazing and transformational one for all aboard. *Lol, train jokes.*

But for now, wish me luck amidst this whirlwind of change. My hope is to be “settled” in by the end of the month in order to be positioned to take the second half of the year by Storme, lol – I’m just full of jokes this morning.

Till next time!
Storme aka TheCurvyRoadRunner

The Results Are In!

Hey you guys, I’m SUPER happy to report that I took my NASM exam over the weekend and I passed!!! I am officially a certified personal trainer! I’m beside myself with both happiness and relief. I’m so glad that the studying and preparation for the exam is behind me and now I can look forward to the next steps of putting all that knowledge to practice on clients.

If you would have asked me four years ago if I thought I’d be here, I would have probably laughed in your face. But here I am. *grin* Living proof that you can not only turn your life around to make healthier choices, but also proof that when you find your passion, taking a risk and stepping into the impossible can reward you in ways you hadn’t imagined.

Almost a year ago I decided I wanted to leave my job and focus my energies on doing more of the things I loved…writing this blog, working out, and helping others get fit. I came up with this “crazy” idea that I was meant to be a a coach/trainer to help people reach their fitness and health goals. I decided I would take the plunge and become a certified trainer, and a few months later – BOOM. Here I am. 😀

Thanks for all of your encouragement and well wishings as I prepared for the exam. With the exam behind me, I can now focus on how to begin cultivating my business and figuring out which direction would be best for me to take. Expect more goodness to follow! 🙂

 

Change is Constant

If this year has been one thing, “busy” would certainly be the word to describe it. I’ve been in my head a lot about things lately – some personal things going on and my world has just been in a state of flux. But I’ve been thinking about you guys and the blog a lot…where I want to go with it, what I want to share with you all, and how I hope to help and encourage people to find their own way towards living a healthier lifestyle.

Do I have the answers yet? Mmmm, not quite, but I’m getting there. At the very least I want to post more frequently…like content outside of the motivational things. I’ve got a lot to say, lol, but finding the time to say it? Yea, it’s a work in progress. So for starters, I’m going to commit to at least one post a week, from me to you, addressing some things that I think would be helpful to making you healthier and happier. How’s that sound? Good? Great. 😉