From the Heart

Fair warning, this will more than likely be a stream of thoughts that may or may not be coherent.

Fitness is not easy. For many reasons. Sometimes it’s he goal that is he issue and the unrealistic expectations we place on reaching those goals. I find myself lookin back at who I was and what I looked like when I used to run and I lament when it takes me seemingly forever to run the same trails I used to run with ease.

Looking back is a bitch. Looking back at what I thought was a peak. Looking back and measuring myself against that old me. But Storme…it’s the old you silly rabbit. And that is where I find myself trying to find my peace. I love running for its mental benefits. Running or walking, just being outdoors is its own kind of meditation for me. Zen in the forest? Sure! But where I once was someone who would love to run for hours…the woman I am now would rather be lifting. 

Running used to push my boundaries. Lifting does that for me now. And I love both for different reasons. And I need to stop looking back at who I was and trying to reconcile it to who I am now. It’s gonna mess up what I’m trying to become. Which is just a better version of myself.

So I ran this morning and it was cool. Then I walked some and that was great, lol. But it didn’t make my heart sing in the same way it used to. And what I am trying to constantly impart upon myself is that IT’S OK. I’m not who I used to be. I am something else. Stronger. Heavier. But healthy still. 

4 thoughts on “From the Heart

  1. This is so interesting, because I’ve done the exact opposite- I’ve gone from heavy lifting to running and PiYo. I really identify with what you said about staying true to yourself and doing what you enjoy.

  2. This sang to my heart as I experience this rollercoaster of an on again, off again running relationship. Comparing the new me to the old me has become my Achilles heel and I’m thankful that I’m not alone. Thank you for sharing your own struggle and encouraging me to give myself a hug along the journey.

    • Aww! I’m glad that it may have helped in some small way. And I’m glad to know I’m not alone in the struggle. It’s hard not to beat ourselves up about stuff like this, but my hope is that it gets easier in time.

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