From the Heart

Fair warning, this will more than likely be a stream of thoughts that may or may not be coherent.

Fitness is not easy. For many reasons. Sometimes it’s he goal that is he issue and the unrealistic expectations we place on reaching those goals. I find myself lookin back at who I was and what I looked like when I used to run and I lament when it takes me seemingly forever to run the same trails I used to run with ease.

Looking back is a bitch. Looking back at what I thought was a peak. Looking back and measuring myself against that old me. But Storme…it’s the old you silly rabbit. And that is where I find myself trying to find my peace. I love running for its mental benefits. Running or walking, just being outdoors is its own kind of meditation for me. Zen in the forest? Sure! But where I once was someone who would love to run for hours…the woman I am now would rather be lifting. 

Running used to push my boundaries. Lifting does that for me now. And I love both for different reasons. And I need to stop looking back at who I was and trying to reconcile it to who I am now. It’s gonna mess up what I’m trying to become. Which is just a better version of myself.

So I ran this morning and it was cool. Then I walked some and that was great, lol. But it didn’t make my heart sing in the same way it used to. And what I am trying to constantly impart upon myself is that IT’S OK. I’m not who I used to be. I am something else. Stronger. Heavier. But healthy still. 

The Nose, The Tongue, and Me

I’ve been on travel for work for the past 3 weeks and somewhere along the line I got this lovely little cold. But for the first time ever, I lost my sense of smell AND taste…for a foodie like myself this was hell. Not to mention the last leg of the trip was in New Orleans…my favorite city…land of beignets and etouffee. *sigh* Yea, so my tastebuds wound up kicking in after about 2 weeks of bland land and I could enjoy my jambalaya in piece, but I’m not here to talk about that.

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Sorry, lol.

But seriously, a funny thing happened when I lost the sense of taste and smell. My entire relationship to food changed. At first I went through denial and tried my best to find the enjoyment of some of my favorite foods, but it was no use. I couldn’t taste a damn thing. And then I got angry because I found the whole point of eating to be an exercise in futility. For someone like myself, eating is an experience. It’s the look, the smell, the taste…all of that. Part of being a foodie I guess. But with 2/3 of those vital elements out of order all I could do was look at food. I quickly lost interest in eating. Don’t get me wrong – I didn’t starve myself nor did I stop eating, but eating was really just something to do to keep my stomach from growling. It messed with me mentally. Eating without tasting…and all I could rely on was texture, which wasn’t SO bad, but it’s not the same.

I got to thinking…and noticing…that it’s super easy to allow your body to tell you when you are ACTUALLY hungry when you can’t smell or taste a thing. It’s crazy, but the nose plays a pretty big role in how we taste food…and when combined with taste the two can play a doozy on how you interpret hunger or desire for food. I was just kinda “over” eating just to eat, because I couldn’t really get any enjoyment out of it, lol. It was boring and pointless. I got over my resentment in time, and now that I’m close to being normal in that department again I’m trying to allow my stomach to speak for itself. Hopefully, this will mean some additional weightloss in the near-ish future.

Have you guys ever lost the sense of taste? How’d you deal with it?

Dear New Years Resolutioners….And Gym Regulars

Welcome to a new year of fitness. I see you in the gym, working out hard every day (sometimes several times a day), trying new classes, and searching for a healthier and fitter version of yourself.

To the gym regulars…I see you too. The look of annoyance and utter disdain…the side glances at gym newbies…the audible displeasure at how crowded the gym floor or locker room may be.

The gym is a place for all people, of all shapes, sizes, and athletic ability. It’s where folks go to sweat, do good work, and push through plateaus. It’s hard enough in a world of fast food convenience and sedentary complacency to make your way to the gym. Whether you’re a noob or a vet, there’s a place at the gym for everyone. What bothers me most about this time of year is the way some, and I will say some, gym regulars make comments aloud – either on the gym floor or in the locker room regarding noobs. Hey, if someone decided that 2015 was the year for them to lose that last 20 lbs, or to gain a little more energy, or to try yoga – CHEERS TO THEM!!! It’s not your place, vet, to make someone who’s probably already nervous as hell that much more uncomfortable. It’s mean, rude, and really…really annoying.

To my newbies, I hope this year you find yourself getting ever the more closer to your goal of a healthier you. Workout out, eat well, hydrate, rest, and repeat. Have fun with it, make new friends. In no time you’ll know the lay of the land at your local gym, which instructors you like, and which trainers are really cool (et ehm…ME). 😉 But most of all never forget, no matter how long you’ve been a member at a gym, everyone was new once. So be nice to one another, aight?

Now go be active. 😀


So…I Broke the Scale

Lol, well not really. More like, my scale went wonky and decided it wanted to end our almost 3 year relationship. It was a sad affair really. I should have known something was amiss when, at my last weigh in, it said I’d lost a whopping 10 lbs that week. On chipotle and starbucks? Nah bruh, I don’t think so.

10 points if you can name this movie.

10 points if you can name this movie.

So yea, I had to get a new scale. It arrived yesterday. And IT was hellbent on telling me the truth. All 275lbs of it. WAAAAAHHHH. Yea, I gained some weight back. My life, the roller coaster. It was bound to happen though. I’ve been having WAY too much fun indulging my inner foodie and scotch lover. Not to mention I’ve grown allergic to cardio since starting crossfit and then switching over to mostly olympic lifting. The motivation to get out bed in the wee hours of the morning to run just…meh. My bad tho. Clearly I know better, but like most of us, sometimes you fall backwards and need to reassert why you do what you do in the first place.

New scale. Renewed focus. And the foodie card can only come out for truly extraordinary purposes. Like my birthday…which is less than a month away (Nov. 20th).

Yup. The entire month of November is my birthday.

Yup. The entire month of November is my birthday.

In other news, life is good. Settling into the new gig, can’t believe 4 months has passed so quickly, but indeed it has. There was this huge project I’d been working towards since day 1, and with that out of the way, I’m hoping to get into my own lovely groove. I’ve not yet put my trainer talents to work, mostly because my schedule has been all over the place, but we are hoping for (and claiming) a stable schedule beginning now!

Till next time!

Catching Up Is A Good Thing

Hello lovelies!!!!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Independence Day weekend! My weekend was filled with good times, good food, and good friends. The weather was perfect, the laughs were in abundance, and it was all around a great time. I’m preeeetty excited that July and the second half of the year is upon us. This first half of the year was a little rough…uh a LOT rough…and filled with a lot of uncertainty and just transition. I think I’m in a space to settle into a new groove. 

Guess who went for a run this weekend?!?! ME!!! It feels like it’s been so long since I’ve gone for a run outdoors, and it was just the medicine I needed. Lately I’ve felt the itch to go for a run, but truthfully, I’ve been away from running consistently for so long that I honestly was afraid of being SUPER SLOW by the time I got back out there, lol. Silly me, lol. Yesterday was a simple 2 miler – I’m literally testing the waters here – and I didn’t die, lol. All the lifting I’ve been doing over these past 6 months have definitely made me stronger and it was evident during my run that my legs can handle more of a pounding than usual. It’s just my cardio capacity that needs to catch up. 

I think I’m going to run a half marathon this fall. Last one I ran was back in May 2013, and I kinda miss it. I figure it’ll make for an interesting couple of months. I’d like to see how oly lifting and crossfitting and running all mix together. Even as I say it, I am questioning my sanity, but realistically speaking…I love olympic weightlifting. I love crossfit. I love running. Why the three can’t exist in the same world is a question I’ve been asking myself as of late. I don’t think you have to be all into one particular sport and shun other forms of activity. Though, admittedly, all three of those can be pretty damn demanding on the body, so clearly caution needs to be taken. Buuuuut, I’ve never been one to shy away from a challenge and I’m definitely not one to accept that something is out of my reach or is just not meant to be attained. Soooo…I’m gonna work it out.

In other news, I’ll be at the IDEA World Fitness BlogFest this August and I’m super excited! This will be my first time attending a conference specifically for fitbloggers and I’m hoping to come away from it with a bunch of ideas how to to make my little blog better. I’ll be sure to do some live tweeting and posting from the event, so keep an eye out for that!

Till next time!

Life is a Big Sea of Change

…these days I’m just trying to go with the flow. Between becoming a certified personal trainer (sqeeeee!!!! ), getting a new job (I start Monday), and moving (I’ll be in a new spot by next weekend…I hope!), life has just been tossing me around a bit – but in a good way.

If nothing else, for the better part of the first half of this year, I’ve unknowingly been on an adventure. One of self discovery and reaffirmation, tears, laughter, frustration, and enlightenment. Life is funny that way I suppose. But what the past couple of months have shown me is that the way to finding your happiness and carving your own path is one that is not meant to be easy. I’ve been spending a lot of time over the past year or so thinking about my next steps. And surprisingly, these next steps literally mean I’m moving. Shifting homes, shifting jobs, shifting my mindset. It’s a good feeling.

If all goes well, you’ll see some things shifting here as well. CRR has been around for a lil over 3.5 years now, and I think it’s time to take the training wheels off and see what she can do. I’m hoping you’ll stick around for the ride, as I’m hoping to make it an amazing and transformational one for all aboard. *Lol, train jokes.*

But for now, wish me luck amidst this whirlwind of change. My hope is to be “settled” in by the end of the month in order to be positioned to take the second half of the year by Storme, lol – I’m just full of jokes this morning.

Till next time!
Storme aka TheCurvyRoadRunner