Fat Pants

Yea, you know the pair…they usually hang in the back of your closet or at the very back of your drawer..as far away from the light of day as possible. They’re roomy, comfy, but also about a half to a full size too big on you when you’re at your normal weight. But on those rare occasions where you ate far too much and didn’t move nearly as much as you could/should have…you pull those bad boys out, dust them off, and slip them on.

Today, I’m wearing my fat pants.

I got on the scale and it confirmed what I’d already known. I’ve gained a good amount of weight in the past month. Celebrating my birthday way too much, Thanksgiving overload back home over the weekend, and my workouts have been sporadic and not nearly as intense as they usually are. Bleh. It happens, we all go through it to some degree I would think. I know why I gained weight, how I gained weight, and better still…

I know how to LOSE the weight.

If ever there was a time to shake things up, it would be now. Today is day one of my “clean up my act” program. The objective is to say bye bye to processed foods, sugars, sweets, and all that bs that we LOVE to eat, but sadly does NOT love our bodies. I’m focusing on eating clean, whole foods…keeping thing as simple as possible, and borrowing a lot from the paleo and clean eating way of dining. Dairy will remain, but in moderation, and I’ve made a swap for coconut milk vs my standard skim. I’m going to say bye bye to the breads, cakes, cookies, blah, all that. I’m chilling out on the sweets, yes…including the chocolate. Alcohol, if consumed, will be in severe moderation…and really only reserved for special social occasions. II’ll be depriving myself of anything…I legitimately don’t want this crap…it just turns my stomach thinking about the mess I’ve been eating, the stuff that we eat everyday and allow to pass for food.

Then, to add a fitness component to the program, I’m starting CrossFit this week. Yep, me. Who, in spite of the news articles and blogs citing CF as dangerous and unhealthy…I’ve signed up any way. Hey, when I said I wanted to run, everyone told me it’d be bad for my knees and joints…that people keep hurt all the time…but I say…everything in moderation. I found a CF box near my job and tomorrow night I will be taking my first of three intro/foundation courses to acclimate myself to some of the basic movements of CF. I’m excited, truly. I look at this as a chance to not only lift and learn more about competitive lifting (my main motivator for getting started), but I will be able to work on being fit and strong across a variety of different methods of working out. I have some goals that I want to work towards during my time doing CF…They are:

  1. Complete ONE strict pull up. Nope, I don’t need to do 10…or even five. Just ONE would be enough for me.
  2. Complete pistol squats with 32kg kettle-bell. If you’ve never seen a pistol squat, check this out. Now if that doesn’t look hard enough, try doing it like this. That’s what I want.
  3. Complete a rope climb. OMG…I have NEVER been able to do this. Most folks can’t do it…upper body strength can be a b*tch. But, it’s one of my goals.
  4. Deadlift 300lbs…like a BAWSE. Lol, this one I want for the sheer strength and power it would demand. 300lbs is like two people…I’ve gotta do it.

It will not be an overnight success story. It’s gonna be ugly…it will hurt…I will probably cry or hurl at some point (let us hope the hurling never happens though), but this is what I want. I’m ready to step it up and challenge myself in ways never done before. It’s time!


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