True Confessions

Confession time…I have been a in fitness slump lately. Really, it’s been my eating that has been the main culprit (check out my food confession from this weekend here). I got on the scale today and weighed in at a whopping 251.8lbs. I haven’t weighed that much since last year. I know the numbers on the scale are not always an accurate portrayal of how healthy a person is, but i know myself and there are certain facts that the numbers i saw today support:

  1. my eating has been shitty. between working at the new location and the new stresses associated with being there, i have turned to poor eating. sweets, sodas, and random cravings for unhealthy snacks. add to that the semi false thinking that i have reached my goal/ideal body shape/size/weight has also contributed to too many snacking and ‘reward’ sessions.
  2. my body doesn’t feel the same as it did when i was at my healthiest weight (about 229). i just feel heavier and though i don’t think i necessarily look heavier when i see myself in the mirror, i know my body and can tell the difference. there is some additional weight on me that needs to go.
  3. i can’t say that the weight i’ve gained is due to bulking up because…well i haven’t really been strength training as much. i know muscle takes up less space than fat and is a lil denser to boot, so get that i could potentially…eventually reach a point where my muscle mass may make me weigh more, but that day isn’t today.

Point blank, I’ve backslid and am trying to get my rear back in gear. I’m open to trying new things, refocusing, and putting back the effort. I need to hold myself accountable. That’s what it all boils down to.

As much as I talk about running, and as much as I enjoy it, running is not going to get me to the place I want to be physically – at least not running all by itself.I’ve got to focus on what is going into my body (and how much of it), which means I will have to break out the old calorie tracking tools I stopped using and will need to be more vigilant about what I eat. Add to that, I’m going to try a workout schedule – one that I will actually (hopefully) adhere to. I used to workout about 5 days a week, and now I’m only doing 1-2 days a week (3 on a really good week). The fact that I have done better, shows me that I can do better. There is no logical reason not too. Another measure of accountability I’m going to try is a photo documentary. Sometimes you can’t see the weight coming off, because it’s inches that tend to go. I think if I see the progress (or not) reflected back to me in the form of photos of myself I will be more inspired/motivated to do better.

I know how it felt to see that number on the scale. To know that no one did that to myself but me…and I don’t want to feel like that again.

It’s go time.

you don’t want to know what I am right now…

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